Attaching to NOT Attaching

To eliminate the problem ~  try to NOT eliminate it. Yoga students are a big inspiration for me.  Witnessing the transformation of their first time on the mat, to becoming a progressing beginner, to a dedicated practitioner is astounding.  Last week I spent some time after after a class chatting with one of those progressing beginners and she said something to me that shifted me in a very self-empowering way, "Don't attach to the possible outcome."  WOW. Got it.  I spent the next day obsessed with the concept of detachment.  I have been exerting massive energy on classifying my internal dialogue as being good, bad, right, wrong.  I've been creating self-defeating mind chatter in judging circumstances that cannot be known.   The more I struggle with the discomfort of a problem, the more energy I am wasting. Of course I want to resolve this inner conflict but all I am really doing is wasting time worrying about it. (...typical Lira behavior, BTW...) So I am applying some of what I learned in my recent experience in Mindfulness Meditation ~ accept that struggling with discomfort is a normal part of life. It's one of those beautiful yoga paradoxes:to eliminate the problem, try to NOT eliminate it :)   I realize to do this I must receive my thoughts and feelings of discomfort and then shift directly into the present moment. It's a mindful choice.  And in that choice I recognize that I am absolutely stronger and more flexible than I ever thought I could be.  I can change without bracing against life. Life is flow ~ I am happening with it. It gets tricky, though.  Trusting that good things are coming requires a lot of "letting go".  We've all had these experiences...we try and try and try to "make" something happen and it's like banging our head on the wall.  We give up...we "let go" and then what we have been wanting, comes to us.  So determined effort is a very good trait to refine.  I'm not great at visualizing, but I am adept at *feeling* what I cannot see.  So perhaps it's better for me to say, refining your "feelings" about what you want is a good skill to cultivate. When we obsess about a result, our efforts become counterproductive.  In fact, often we end up attracting NOT having what we want. Part of every "impossible" circumstance is a beautiful opportunity. And the finest opportunities lie in the center of "impossible" situations. Spend time cultivating gratitude for the opportunities the unimaginable has brought into life. What you desire pulses in the core, so get really curious about how that sweetness *feels* without attaching to a "possibly perfect" outcome. Being perfect carries waaaay too much pressure. Slowing down and letting go to savor the sweetness ~ ♡♡♡ Shani

LOVE this Article!

On a recent road trip with a friend, we discussed much of what this author is articulating.  It's so so so true!
The Lost Art of Masculinity.

She

She pays attention.

Her old soul isn’t that old - she’s pretty child-like. 

Her definition of mastery is Love. 

She does not follow blindly - she follows beauty.

She blossoms in nature. She’s inspired by the relentless splendor of flowers and herbs and vegetables and trees.

She’s not that good at math - she’s really good at “feeling”.

She’d rather evolve than meet a requirement. 

She’s ok with a challenge. 

She enjoys a smart question more than a smart answer. 

She’s loves “goddess time” while the sun embraces her cheeks, her chest and navel. She also loves “goddess time” while the moon caresses her cheeks, her chest and navel.

She loves to learn from touch, music, movement and breath.
Actually, she often learns best through these channels of expression.

She’s fresh when it comes to expressing herself ~ sometimes this is her greatest flaw.

She’s a truth-craver often tumbling down a mystical, symbolism laden rabbit hole, spiraling into inner worlds, excavating new places and drinking water or tea or coffee with the fascinating characters she meets.

She’s not a fan of confrontation, but she’ll stand her ground with what she knows in her heart to be true. She'll call instead of emailing. She’s almost always down for “talking it out”. 

She’s communicates with kindness. And will not cry out emotionally through social networking.

She owns her bullshit. She’s not sorry but will admit her faults.

She cries. A lot. Lately.

She is willing to forgive. 

She hates yelling.

She loves laughing.

She has quirks too: 

sometimes she thinks she's fat/unattractive/unworthy even though she’s not

sometimes she gets crazy angry waiting in long lines

sometimes she gets real hard on herself for being fearful

sometimes she searches too long for meaning when there isn't one

She enjoys the company of like-minded hearts - but is at her best one on one.

She’s listens for the wisdom of her own heart. She listens *to* the wisdom of her own heart.