Listen to the Unspeakable

Cracking Open There is no preparation for desire, for the fierceness of the aching in your heart. Longings in your heart give a voice to the parts of you that have been left behind in the compromises made for safety over your authentic needs.  Great damage occurs to your heart in the lies that you tell yourself in the fear of being judged as faithless. Eventually, you realize it's time to stop hoping for something to change, or for happiness to rise every tomorrow. You realize that "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the midst of a moment, serenity is born out of the courage in making a tough choice. You release the illusion of perfection and accept that not everyone will love, respect or appreciate who or what you are...and that's fine.  You learn the importance of caring for yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is embodied. You stop complaining about the short-comings of others and you learn that you don't make excuses for your failures but are willing to live with what IS and to not deny any aspect of yourself within your heart.  You learn that in high emotional intensity, you don't always say what you mean and the same is true of others. You understand that those who you intimately love may not always be there for you - that is because not everything is about you. In that understanding, calmness and contentment are revealed.  You begin refining and reassessing who you are and what you really stand for. You become proficient in knowing the difference between wanting and needing.  You begin to discard the beliefs and stories you've outgrown, or should never have valued to begin with!   You re-affirm standards such as honesty and integrity ~ not as ideals but as essential to holding together the foundation upon which you build your life. This means that you can no longer betray yourself. It is there, in the truth of the moment that you learn about love. You learn to look at the reality of all your relationships. You learn that letting go of any relationship does not leave you empty. You stop trying to control the pathway.  You learn to differentiate between guilt and responsibility. You also stop working so hard to ignore the voice of your heart that conflicts with your actions.     You learn that your body really is a temple. You begin to honor it and treat it with respect.  And, just as proper nutrition fuels your body, humor fuels your soul. So you take more time to laugh and to have fun. You now understand how being tired fuels your fears and uncertainties and so you no longer feel apologetic about napping :)     You learn that you are choosing your thought patterns and clearly see that your thoughts are truly creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that everything you desire is worth working toward making it happen. You become the change you want for your life.      You learn that fear is part of life. Indeed, you don't always get what you think you deserve. In fact, sometimes deplorable things happen. It's just life happening.  You learn to admit when you are wrong and how to build bridges instead of barriers.    You learn that anger, bitterness and resentment must be acknowledged and redirected or they will toxify the universe that embraces you.     At last, with great courage, you take a stand.  You begin to take responsibility for yourself. You make the promise to never betray yourself and to never again settle for less than your heart's desire.  You smile, trust, and take a deep breath as you re-design the life you want and stay open to every beautiful possibility, as best you can.     What do you want? What do you really want? Listen to the unspeakable ♡♡♡ Shani

So much. love.

I love as much as I can. 

My heart can take it.

My heart wants it.

I can love one.

I can love it all.

Love is easy.

I can love you/it all ~ differently. 

Let me tell you what I love right now.

I love sultry summer days, big cool rocks, rugged river banks, thoughts of fluffing pillows, space, big yoga classes, being alone, bitter greens, one hershey kiss, a trip, friends.

Love breaks my heart in the most very magical way.

It is so beautiful ~ it is a part of me.

Love connections never totally dissolve.

Every single love memory pounds within my heart. 

We must love.

If we don't, our whole life will pass by memory-less.