Difficult Questions

I have been given a gift that I cherish more than any other that I have ever received.

Space.

An entire month of space.

Space to live out loud. Space to live authentically. Space to express my love.

After just one week of experiencing this gift, I thought I knew, but…I now have a deeper appreciation of what it means to live without resistance, to REALLY be in the flow.

Of course I’ve been receiving a lot of help, however, as my life continues with its usual "ebb and flow”, contentment has arrived for me. This weekend in particular has given me a lot of time to myself. I am so so so grateful! Being washed in the waters of the shanti rasa, has reflected to me clarity and perspective.

My beautiful teacher always puts the challenge forth, “ Liberate what binds You”. A phrase which has held me deep in contemplation in the every early hours of the days this weekend.

I have chosen to look AT myself (so much love has come up...I've been endlessly jotting in my journal...look for more posts soon).

I found some questions Shiva posed at a teacher training about two years ago. Having this space is giving me the opportunity to consider these questions, to go deep inside and hear my truth:

• What is it that I really want?
• Who or What is in my life that is no longer serving my heart?
• Where is the resistance in my life?
• What/Who am I in control of in life?
• What/Who do I have zero control of?
• Reflecting on positive experiences from the past, in what moments did I feel complete serenity, empowerment, and pure joy? What am I in control of that would bring me closer to this essence?
• What feels like harmony?

And so what did I hear? Well, as another great teacher said this weekend, “Words have no meaning. It is the breath beneath the words which contains meaning”.


I claim the shift within myself that has become about hearing the powerful call within my heart. It has always been there, but more and more I am able to turn mindless chatter down or in some cases, entirely off. Not only do I hear the call, but I feel its pulsation strenghtening within me.


I will also claim that not until I truly face all the influences which have created the regressive babble will I be able to speak/breath the answers which live in my heart.


"You can't live hunched over; you have to open your heart and breathe through grief; you have to live and love while you can, and make decisions in your life as if you can see death out of the corner of your eye." -Unknown
LOVIN' IN EVERY BREATH~ Shani