The Hypocrite

What do you see inside yourself?

My authentic friends know this about me, sometimes when I walk into that yoga studio the words that come out of my mouth are brilliant. When I walk out of that yoga studio and into my life, sometimes it’s a disaster. This brings up the issue of hypocrisy and being a yoga teacher. I often am judged more harshly than what people judge themselves. Change yourself and watch me change.

Let me say this loud and proud: I have been crystallized into this realm imperfect and incomplete. It is my life’s work to create a legacy for another individual to complete. Just as I have been attracted into the place of working where another soul has left. It is VERY DIFFICULT to be a yoga teacher. The majority of the words which flow from my lips are the words I myself need to hear. I am not preaching. Not for one second do I profess to be holier than thou.

I (just like you, by the way) slip and sometimes I slide for a long time. I am not perfect. I am honest with myself. There are aspects of my life that I do not like and I am working on changing them. I am your teacher and you are mine. Why are you in my life…why am I in YOURS?? Love has been there all along, you have NO IDEA.

With Passion and Love Love Love,

Shani

Painfully Lovely

Are you willing to escape the wrath of habits and ways of being? Are you willing to cross the borders of your mind knowing that the choice that you make will change everything in that moment. And the choices that we make, moment to moment DO effect OTHER moments. It's called karma.

I am slowly recovering from a yoga injury...yes...I've kept it pretty quiet. I haven't had a yoga injury in more than 10 years (thank you). I believe I did it doing Breath of Fire in a very unconscious sort of way...just jumping into it with my students and abruptly stopping to speak and then pumping away again. Stupid. In doing this, I have strained cartilage between my ribs and sternum. For the last month I have had severe pain on deep inhalation, laughing and back bending... three of my favorite things.

With the careful adjustments from a wonderful chiropractor, I have gradually been healing. Recently a dear friend said to me, "So breath of fire is the teacher".

"HUH?" says the yoga teacher.

"What is it that you aren't burning away? The pain is a constant reminder until you admit it".

Oh yes, my wise friend you are right. It's the cleansing season. And I am dedicating this season to finding balance. In particular, balance of energies in my heart space.

I'm a sensitive vata/libra which means I am expressive through and through. Let me say, finding balance in not wanting to suppress what's natural is DIFFICULT. For me, taking the middle path is always like a dance with splinters in my feet. It is my constitutional tendency (for better or worse) to worry ( am so afraid of the suffering), to shift between extremes (stop before it gets messy....oh go on, once more), to give love deeply (lounge in the maple syrup and honey).

After a crazy experience earlier today, I am rethinking a word I often use to describe myself, COMPLEX. Saying "that's who I am" lowers the potential vibration of who I could become. So this spring I am taking on the challenge of cleansing myself of some old habitual patterns of thought and emotion. This is difficult work and it will take time, tremendous EFFORT and possibly some more pain along the way. As does the path of destruction and recreation of anything. I will admit, I have some fear. However, temporary pain in the now, KNOWING I am doing the work, is MUCH better than the suffering of going through endless days doing the same shit that hasn't served for however long it's been reinforced!

I love self study and I love that my life and my livelihood surrounds and supports this process!

"...ain't no wall gonna stay up forever..." - Nicole Reynolds

I bow before you ~ You are so lovely ~ I love you

Shani

Diversity

Yoga still, after 15 years, surprises. I find it to be endlessly fascinating. There is nothing effortless about choosing this practice. And it is a choice. It is a choice to take classes with me. It is a choice to pick up that mat, drive to the studio, unroll that mat and expose all your weaknesses/vulnerabilities/fears all of your beauty/truth/love.

Once you start on this path, it is pretty hard to fall off. Trust me, you can fall off. But if you do, the duration of time that it will take you to get back on will be brief. Because once you have made a dedication to the mat, yoga becomes woven into your life. You realize that when you are not practicing your energy weakens, you feel contracted. And then what happens (this is the really beautiful part) you KNOW that your life is bigger than the compressed state which you are experiencing!

So we all come to the mat for 108 different reasons. The diversity in my classes is immense. My classes are open to all levels. And that is exactly what shows up on the mats. A wide wide wide circle of ages, yogic experiences, life experiences. Initially we are social strangers. But energetically we are spiritual brothers and sisters. In the time we share together on the mat we join our souls and open our hearts to the fact that we share our breath and heartbeat on a cosmic level. We are united in knowing that LOVE can transform anything.

May our hearts be filled and moved by great joy.

May peace be infinite within our spirits.

And may we each LOVE bigger than we ever imagined possible.

Peace Love and Yoga

Shani