Over the 18 months, I have tremendous life changes and transitions occurring. With work alone, I have been teaching a lot more which has me seeing massage clients much later in the day. As much as I love teaching, it has turned up the busyness dial which, in turn, has created another layer of stress on my body and mind. I am heading toward a recovery phase, and healing the effects of having stress run the show. My true self has been suffocated under a great burden that I created.
CS Lewis said, “You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” To me, when I’m living from my soul – my true self – I am living with balance and am flowing in love, creativity and joy without any effort. Living with my stressful self is opposite. I feel confused, indecisive, and negative. I even feel hopeless at times and think I will never be able to get out of this hole. My breath becomes very shallow.
Then I got injured, which of course was a thoughtful teacher in disguise. The cartilage connecting my sternum and ribs was so inflamed at one point that I could hardly move. Any coincidence this is related to the heart chakra – I think not! I believe that everything is happening deliberately to us, or “for us” to grow and learn through our soul. And what I needed to learn (remember) was to simplify: eat good food, sleep, and drink water. Be HERE, right now. And breathe!
I started daily Abhyanga again. The healing effects of drenching my body with oil created a calming and nurturing result. I had a couple of intense crying sessions which eased some of the inflammation and pain I was feeling in my ribs, my mind and my heart.
Because of my injury, it was a great challenge to do a lot of physical movement. Typically, this is my way of releasing emotions and stress from my body. So I scaled my yoga practice way back and spent a lot of time in Savasana :). That was super helpful. Deep relaxation helped me move stagnant energy out and create new clearer energy. I now feel like I have MORE energy to give others.
I started getting outside (even in the cold!) and turning my face to the sun. Just a few minutes of bathing my face in sunlight was enough to revive my sense of wonder again. I started witnessing the trees and flowers coming to life again. I sat still in my backyard and listened to what my true self was saying. And what I heard was, in part, this.…
I worry too much. I can live - I AM LIVING the life I want to live right now. There is no reason that we can’t all be overflowing with creativity, that we can’t all be loved and happy. The source of these qualities is never ending!
I must let go of my attachments of what and how my greatest desires will manifest. I must start asking what is the final outcome and emotion of these great desires and focus on being/living that - now! I am grateful and thankful for everyone and everything I have right now. I feel reconnected to the creative source of love. I am hopeful and have faith again.
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