Friday, April 29, 2011

Habits

The thought manifests as word;
The word manifests as deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings.
~ The Buddha


Our life is a sequence of habits that mold our evolution. We all have a blend of life affirming and bad habits. Bad habits cause distressing hardships. Life affirming habits serve our progressive nature. Any repeated thought pattern carves a deep groove within our reasoning.  These trenches carry the anatomy for various behaviors. Our attention currents increase the drive of desire toward a habit. Repetitive/obsessive thought patterns strengthen the power of any habit and, of course, lack of attention weakens a habit. This is true of both life affirming and hurtful habits.

By giving more attention to creating a life affirming habit, a new channel can be carved into our thought process. Simply, the good pushes out the bad. Without this liberation, spiritual evolution is impossible. Painful problems pull us to slip into the illusionary pleasures of  bad habits.  This is ground floor for destructive dependancy. So then, not only is the original pain still looming, but then the obstacles which come with an addiction begin appearing. It is a downward spiral which leads to emotional instability, irrational fear, rage, chaos, disgrace, and more. 
Bad habits aren’t just vices such as tobacco, drugs, alcohol and food.  But also shopping, compulsive computer or television activity, sex, money, work, and dependency on others for satisfaction. Most short-comings are pleasurable in the beginning, that’s why they are repeated! However, bad habits have their own evolution, one that leads into emptiness and distress.  Eventually our behaviors resulting from the addiction are opposed to our true nature, which I believe is to express love,  empathy and compassion.

To begin eliminating bad habits, we must recognize that the pain of the fixation is worse than the pain of facing the original problem. Cultivating life affirming resilience is arduous, but it is harder to maintain the destruction of our spirit. Initiate the change NOW! Every time thought or action of a bad habit is repeated, it increases instability. Procrastination diminishes our personal strength and we become very defensive and self-justifying. We're caged in our cravings. The veil of illusion is so thick that we often don’t realize we’re being contained by the power of the habit! It’s only when one day, for whatever reason, our daily pattern of existence changes and we realize that we “can’t” stop or that we need help because we WANT to stop. 
If you have hit that wall, may I suggest the following:
1. Soul Search
Make a list of the habits you would like to change. This requires you to be radically honest with yourself.  But if you’re still reading this post, you’re ready!

2. Step Back
This means that instead of pushing against the obstacle, step back from it. You may need to dissolve the relationships which support unhealthy rituals.  Avoid the negative environments and routines that breathe life into the bad habits and/or addictions.  Change is hard. In letting go of friendships, environments and routines, worries of loneliness may creep into your heart. However, during this time of transition, you will  gain strength and self-discipline to resist cravings.  With the grace of your own breath and the power of your mind, stop the obsessive thoughts which awaken harmful desires.

3. Take care
Self-nurturing is a fine art.  Learn it.  Use determined effort to discover what it is that you love to do.  Continually place yourself in those environments that you love.  Take care of yourself.  Learn how to breath more deeply.  Drink water. Eat clean food. Hold space for yourself to be quiet and rest. Practice mindfulness.  Oh and, yoga is a good idea, too ;)

4. Let your heart be known
Surround yourself with people who are supportive of you. Friends and family associated with our detriments can pull us back into regressive ways of being. When we move forward, they often take it personally. And let’s face it,  as adults it’s difficult to cultivate new friendships. Do not be afraid because also, there are beautiful like-minded hearts who WILL help in protecting you from yourself in fragile moments of vulnerability.

5. Again and again
Temptations occur. Set-backs happen. Ebb and flow is a natural process. Never ever give up. When you backslide, be sure to gently remember to love, empathize and be compassionate with yourself. Use any disgust that arises as an incentive to accelerate the strength of your character. Do your best to give your attention to all of the life affirming relationships, environments and routines you are discovering until they become natural and part of your daily existence. 
Love All Ways. Shani

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